Pockets of Peace: Returning to Work After Trauma
Returning to work after experiencing trauma can be a difficult and challenging process. Trauma can take many forms, such as physical injuries, emotional or psychological trauma, or the loss of a loved one. It can be a long and difficult road to recovery, but with the right strategy and support, it is possible to return to and advance your career.
By Monique Burt Williams | Categories: Peaceful Living; Leadership Development |
I was held at gunpoint when I was 8 months pregnant with my first child.
Four men followed me home one night and waited until I pulled into my garage so they could rob me. I would later learn that they had been studying my routine for months. As I cried and begged for the life of my unborn child, one of the gunmen rubbed my pregnant belly and told me that I was lucky he was in " a good mood" that night. The four men took a few things and fled my home. I managed to let down the garage door before barreling back into my house to begin sweeping up the pieces of my shattered peace.
For those last few weeks of my pregnancy, I tried to manage the panic attacks darting through my body each time I heard the sound of a garage door groaning open or shut. A therapist diagnosed me with PTSD and she led me through EMDR Therapy to derail my brain's reaction to the memory. She encouraged me to conjure an image that would bring me peace.
Immediately, an image of my son and I walking into the water, hand-in-hand, flooded my mind's eye, and I sketched the image with words as I described the scene to my therapist. While the therapy did work after some time, I suffered the effects of that trauma for several years. When I returned to work after maternity leave, I suffered in silence as the memory tormented me, distracting me from performing anywhere near my potential. I tried to diminish the severity of the event and convinced myself that more than enough time had passed for me to have gotten over it and to "get it together already!" People were depending on me: my family, my teams, my friends. As a leader, dropping the ball in any way felt like a luxury I could not afford, and I believed that I had better just shove away the pain and get back to being a boss.
And so that's what I did.
Another baby and several years later, I found myself in the c-suite, running the nation's largest woman-owned legal search firm. Inc. magazine had named the organization one of the fastest growing companies in the country. My husband and I had just bought our first home and his law practice was thriving. We had two bouncing baby boys and a very naughty little dog. From the outside, things must have seemed near-perfect. But, secretly, I still cringed each time I heard a garage door and panic attacks still derailed my focus from time to distracting time. Sure, I was able to imagine "the beach scene", calm myself down, and get back to business...but I was still affected.
This past summer, my family and I went back to my hometown to spend some time at the beach. Unbeknownst to me, my husband took a picture of my son and I, walking into the water. I was speechless when I saw the photo on his phone a few days later. I had never discussed with him the specifics of my EMDR sessions, but somehow he had managed to capture the exact scene that my mind had created before my son was even born. This photo now sits on a canvas in our home.
When I see the photo, I often think of how many business leaders find themselves needing to return to work after trauma. Here are some tips to consider as you're contemplating getting back to the grind:
*********
1. Be considerate to yourself. This includes taking time to heal both physically and emotionally. It's important to listen to your body and give yourself the time and space you need to recover. This may include seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling. When you're ready to start thinking about returning to work, set realistic goals and expectations that honor your personal self-care. Start small, and set goals that are achievable in the short-term. As you make progress, you can gradually increase the scope of your goals.
2. Have a support system in place. Another important aspect of returning to work after trauma is to have a support system in place. This might include friends, family members, co-workers, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. While confiding in another person tends to be quite difficult for business leaders (many think of sharing personal situations as a showing of weakness or poor judgement), having someone to talk to can be incredibly helpful and, in fact, imperative.
3. Determine whether your job is related to the trauma. If your job or industry is highly stressful and may be related to your trauma, you may want to consider looking for a new job or career path. Your mental and physical well-being should be your top priority, and it's important to find a work environment that's conducive to your healing and recovery. It can be difficult to be objective in this assessment, so enlist the help of a trusted advisor or career coach to flush out key predictors as well as your options.
It is important to remember that the road to recovery after trauma is not always a straight line. There may be setbacks along the way, and that's okay. Be patient with and kind with yourself, and to remember that healing is a process that takes time and support. Overall, returning to work after experiencing trauma can be a difficult process, but with the right support, strategies and a supportive employer it is possible.
As always, reach out anytime if you or your organization could benefit from Two Cups of Tea in the areas of career coaching or workforce development consulting. Allow us to design a development strategy that works for you.
Join us for tea.
Please note: While our practice is dedicated to helping clients achieve their personal and professional goals, we are not licensed therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists. Coaching is not a substitute for any of these important services. If you are in crisis, please do not wait to contact a licensed therapist or help hotline.
